When I look around in our modern society, I see so many people are looking up to others. Celebrities are constantly put on a pedestal, just like needy men put attractive women on a pedestal. I’m therefore not surprised that many people are so unhappy with where they are in their life, even if they are not doing so badly at all. They don’t feel valuable and important in life, while grossly over-valuing others. They can’t blame anyone for that except themselves. They have created that situation of lack of self worth, and no one else can be blamed for it. It’s critical that you stop pedestalizing anyone, and women specifically.
Understand What Being The Most Important Person In Your Life Is and What It Isn’t
Your life is your movie and you are the ultimate star in it. No one can experience your life like you can. So why on earth would you choose to live a life not feeling like a man? What the hell happened to you that you put other people around you above yourself, including any girl, however attractive she might be? Don’t take me wrong – I am not asking you to hate women or to think lowly of them or treat them badly. I am asking you not to think less of yourself just because you are near someone very attractive. Think about how much damage you have done to yourself already with such thoughts as “Why would she want to be with me and not with those ten other guys who are starting at her or are flirting with her?” When you truly accept that you are the most important person in your life, this should help you a lot in becoming more confident in general and with women specifically.
This doesn’t mean that other people are not important or that you should not treat them well, but you should not treat them like they are more important than you are, unless you are in some kind of extreme life/death situation and where you are willing some kind of meaningful, personal sacrifice. I realize how selfish this may sound, but this is really not about selfishness, because as long as that belief doesn’t come at the expense of others, you are not doing anything wrong. In other words, if you want to go to one restaurant and the girl you are going out wants to go to some place else, you don’t insist on going to the place you like because you are more “important.” This is really not about competition or insisting to have it your way every time. Being the most important person in your life means, for instance, that when you make a move and try to talk to a girl, you truly believe that it’s a compliment to her, especially today when picking someone up more often means adding them on Facebook than actually trying to come up with the courage to talk to them.
Putting Women on a Pedestal Will Lead to an Inevitable Disappointment
When these people who you idolize so much fall off that pedestal (which usually happens), they disappoint you when they show you that they are not all who you thought they are. However, this is more of your fault than theirs, because you are the one who created those expectation in your mind and for no reason. What did you think was going to happen? She may look like an angel to you when wearing that sexy dress, high heels and having her hair all done up, but I doubt she will ever sound like an angel as soon as you start talking to her. It’s good to assume the best about the people you meet, but you can’t just start thinking that every hot girl is Ms. Perfect. She probably isn’t. She gets frustrated, tired, flaky, emotional, and angry like most other girls. It’s hard for you to come up and talk to her, but it’s also hard for her to know how to deal with your approach, even if she is interested.
Pedestalizing Women Will Make Them Think Less of You
Women do not want to be placed above you. It’s hard for any girl to respect or to be attracted to the guy who thinks lowly of himself and who puts her on a pedestal. If you think you are not worthy of the girl you met and are interested in, she will necessarily conclude sooner than later that you really are not worth her time, even if she initially was attracted to you. If you do not believe you are wroth it, no one else will. If you believe that this article speaks to you, one of the first steps you can and should take toward abolishing the habit of pedestalizing others in general and women specifically and learning how to appreciate yourself is developing genuine confidence. By James Miller of SublimeSeduction.com.
